I Once Was Lost
by whumpqueen
Summary: AU where Jamie was kidnapped as a child. They looked but could never find him until on day, Danny sees Officer Jamie Collins. Danny knows it's his long lost brother, now if only he could convince Jamie of that. But Jamie has gone through a lot in the life he was never supposed to have, he may not be able to trust the Reagans no matter how much he wants to. Joe and Mary still alive.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Blue Bloods, OC's are all mine though

Danny looked through the door at the young man in the locker room. He had been walking through the precinct when he heard someone mention the new rookie looked kind of like Joe Reagan. Danny almost froze but continued walking, changing his course to go by the locker room, and pushing down the hope that it could possibly be who he wanted it to be. Shock ran through him as he caught sight of the rookie, the kid looked like Joe, like his mother, and heck Danny could even see their grandfather in the guy. Danny grabbed a passing patrol officer and motioned towards the rookie with his head, "Who's the kid?"

The officer looked at the young man before answering, "New rookie, Jamie Collins. Heard the guy was top of his class at the academy."

Danny silently thanked the officer as he walked away, and spared another moment to capture a photo of Jamie before rushing off to 1PP. Garret looked surprised to see him as he approached the Commissioner's office, "Danny, what are you doing here? I didn't think you had any cases at the moment to consult the Commissioner about."

Danny walked up to the man and placed a hand on his shoulder, "No but I think I found him."

Garret's eyes widened, "Are you sure?"

Danny nodded, "The kid looks like…well all of us. Anyways, I got to see him, anyone in there?"

Garret shook his head, "Just Erin, she came by to talk about Nikki."

Danny smiled, "Perfect." The detective patted Garret's shoulder and walked into the Commissioner's office, startling his sister with his entrance.

Erin scowled, "Danny! We were having a serious discussion."

Danny dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand, "Doesn't matter."

Erin looked affronted and Frank turned to Danny, "What is it?" Danny pulled out his phone and thumbed to the picture before placing it in front of his father. Frank looked at the photo, his eyes widening and shooting up to look at his son, "Is that…"

Danny nodded his head before his father could finish the sentence, "I think so."

Frank looked back to the photo, "And he's a cop?"

Danny's smile widened, "Yep, in my precinct too."

Erin looked between the two men confused, "Who's a cop in Danny's precinct?"

Danny looked to his sister, "Jamie." Erin gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

Frank stared at the photo as he asked, "Are we sure it's him though?"

Danny shrugged, "No but the kids name is Jamie, Jamie Collins. He was top of his class apparently and he looks just like Mom, and Joe."

Erin lunged and grabbed the phone, her eyes collecting every detail of the man in the picture. Erin saw what her brother meant and her eyes filled with tears, "Dad, can you find out? Maybe check his prints against the ones you had from when he was a kid?"

Frank paused a moment, "It would have shown up on the background check. He might not be Jamie."

Danny snorted, "Did you not see the kid? It has to be Jamie!"

The Commissioner sighed, "Then his finger prints have been altered some way. It wouldn't help to compare them."

Erin's eyebrows rose, "Is that even possible?"

Danny nodded his head, frowning, "If there was enough damage done to the finger pads they could change. Scars or callouses can form and create voids in the print, changing it enough that it would no longer show up as a viable match to the original print. It happens sometimes with certain hobbies, or with prisoners of war, makes it harder to identify the soldier if he dies."

Erin blanched at the implications then sighed in defeat, "Then how will we find out?"

Frank turned to Danny, "If you can get him to voluntarily submit to a DNA test we could run it against ours, see if there is a familial match."

Danny ran a hand through is short hair, "I don't know if I could get the kid to do it, I've never even spoken to him before."

Erin reached out and grabbed her brother's wrist, "You can figure out a way. You have to do it."

Danny nodded, "I'll try. Right now I just have to get the kid to talk to me." Danny turned to leave, pausing as he hit the door, "Just, don't tell anyone until we get confirmation, I don't want them to get their hopes up only for it to turn out the guy isn't our Jamie."

Erin nodded, "My lips are sealed."

Frank looked down, "I don't like it but I agree it might be for the best."

Danny sighed as he got up and said his goodbyes and headed back to work. He wasn't sure what to do if he saw the man again, he so desperately wanted the kid to be his long lost brother who had been taken from them so long ago but he didn't want to be let down again. Danny was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the man in front of him until he ran into him. The young officer turned around and Danny thought it was just his luck that it was Collins.

Jamie's face paled a second, "I'm so sorry Detective Reagan, I should have been paying better attention."

Danny shook his head, "Nah kid, it's fine, it was my fault. Officer Jamie Collins, right?"

Jamie nodded, "Yes sir."

Danny smiled, "Who is your TO?"

Jamie looked a bit nervous as he answered, "Sergeant Renzulli, Sir."

Danny laughed, "No need for the sir, call me Danny or if you have to, Reagan."

s head was nodding so much he looked like a bobble head doll, "

Danny laughed again, "It's fine kid, I don't bite."

Jamie huffed, "Not what I heard." Jamie's eyes widened in surprise at his own words, as if he hadn't meant to speak them aloud.

Danny laughed harder, "I like you kid, tell you what, to apologize for running into you earlier, I'll buy you a beer and let you grill me on what it's like to be a cop in this crazy city." Jamie hadn't been expecting that, then again everyone always said Danny Reagan was a strange one. Not trusting his voice to betray him again, Jamie nodded, making Danny's smile go wide, "Alright kid, meet me at the cop bar around the corner after you get off shift." Jamie nodded again and watched as Danny walked off, wondering what in the world had just happened. Danny, on the other hand, couldn't believe his luck. He now had the perfect opportunity to talk to the kid and find out a few things and maybe talk him into testing his DNA. Danny smiled, thinking for once, it might actually be real and he would have his baby brother back.


	2. Chapter 2

Jamie was nervous, Danny Reagan had asked him to go out for a beer... on his first day. The guy was NYPD royalty for crying out loud, what the hell did he want with some wet behind the ears rookie straight out of the academy? Jamie just didn't get it, and that was why he was currently standing outside the bar Danny wanted to meet at and staring at the door, unsure if he should actually go in. A voice brought Jamie out of his thoughts, "You gonna stand there all night kid, or actually go in and get a beer?"

Jamie jumped and turned around, coming face to face with Danny Reagan, "D-Detective Reagan! Umm, hi... I was just about to go inside."

Danny chuckled and placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, "Sure you were, that's why you've been staring at the door for the past five minutes. And I thought I told you to call me Danny?" Jamie's face reddened and he looked away embarrassed, subtly pushing the detective's hand off his shoulder by reaching up and scratching the back of his head, hoping the action also sufficed to hide the slight flinch at the unexpected physical contact. It worked apparently, because when Jamie looked back up, Danny's face held the same amusement at the awkward rookie it had held moments before. Danny gestured to the door, "How bout I get you that beer I promised you?" Jamie nodded in response, not sure if he could trust himself to speak with out a stutter or be in any way intelligible.

The two made their way into the bar, Danny waving to familiar faces and Jamie following awkwardly behind him like a lost puppy. They found a place to sit at the bar and Danny motioned to the bartender for two beers. When they arrived, Danny passed one to Jamie and decided to break the stifling silence, "So Collins, what made you want to be a cop?"

Jamie took a sip of the beer, "I saw a lot of... bad stuff growing up. My, uh, parents weren't the best people. My mom was a drug addict, I saw what that did to her and I wanted to fix things, stop bad things from happening. I actually was going to be a lawyer, went to law school and everything. Then my, uh my fiancée, she uh, got in with the wrong people, tried to pay for law school with money from a loan shark. The guy decided she couldn't pay him back fast enough and he killed her. I was there when it happened, we were walking back to our apartment and the guy came out of nowhere and shot her point blank. It was quick at least and without even thinking, I took the guy down. The detective that worked the case told me my quick actions saved my life and I should think about becoming a cop. I didn't want to at first, I mean I couldn't even save my fiancée, but I tried going back to classes and everything didn't feel right anymore. After I graduated, instead of taking the bar, I went to the police academy. I don't really talk about it and I have no idea why I' telling you this. I just have no idea what to say to you, I mean, you are kind of intimidating and I'm a bit nervous and I should probably stop talking before I get to embarrassing stories." Jamie's mouth shut with an audible click as he looked at Danny, whose face was warring with showing amusement at the young officer's nervousness and sadness at the story he had been told.

Danny drew in a breath, "That sucks kid, but let me tell you, you made the right choice. My sister is a lawyer and let me tell you, my brother and I have a lot more fun then she does." Jamie nodded unsure where to take the conversation. The two men sat in silence a moment, Danny looking at the younger man and working up the courage to say what he needed to, "So, Jamie, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Jamie frowned, "I'm not in trouble am I? Because, today was my first day and I don't think I did anything wrong so I couldn't be in trouble right?"

Danny put his hands up, "Whoa, slow down kid, you aren't in trouble. I actually wanted to ask a few questions, that's all. They are kinda personal."

Jamie's face changed from worried to confuse, "Well, I guess that would be fine. What do you want to ask?"

Danny paused a moment, thinking over his first question, "Were you adopted?"

Jamie tilted his head, "Yeah, why?"

Danny shook his head, "I'll get there. Did you ever meet your birth parents, or know anything about them?"

Jamie shook his head, "No, my parents didn't even know that I knew I was adopted. I kind of overheard them talking once."

Danny wrung his hands nervously, "This might sound crazy, but I think I know who your birth parents are."

Jamie's eyes widened, "What?"

It came out as a whisper and Danny barely heard it, but he nodded his head quickly in response, "Look, I'm not entirely certain but, if you were willing to do a DNA test I could find out."

Jamie opened his mouth to speak then shut it, unsure what to say. It took him few minutes, but Jamie finally got his thoughts together, "Who is it?"

Danny watched Jamie, the kid looked a jumble of eager, unsure, excited, apprehensive, and hopeful. Danny cleared his throat, "Well, this is kind of the crazy part but well, I used to have another younger brother, other than Joe of course. He was kidnapped when he was five. His name was Jamie. And, well you look a lot like what I imagined he would at your age, as well as like my mother."

Jamie blinked a few times, "Wait, you think I'm your brother? That's... that's crazy! I mean, I can't be. No one ever heard of another Reagan, especially one that had been kidnapped."

Danny shook his head, "I know it's a bit far fetched. We kept it out of the news after we couldn't find you. Especially after Grandpa and Dad were Commissioners, we didn't want anything to happen to you if someone found out who you were. Just, please, at least do the DNA test to remove the possibility. If you aren't who I think you are, I'll help you find your real parents."

Jamie's eyes searched Danny's face a moment, "Alright, I guess it wouldn't hurt. Besides, you seem as desperate to find your brother as I am to find my real family."

Danny smiled, "Thank you."

Jamie shook his head, "If this turns out how you hope, I'll be the one needing to thank you."

~*~ BB ~*~

Author's not: Hey guys! hope you like everything so far! to clarify, in this AU, Joe and Mary are both alive and make an appearance in the next chapter. so keep reading and please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie wrung his hands nervously as he sat silently in front of the two Reagan men. After a night of no sleep, Jamie had met up with Danny and his father to get the DNA test done, seemed they wanted to know as fast as he did. They were waiting for the results but the room stayed silent, the two Reagans wanting to know so much, but not knowing what to say and poor Jamie, wanting to give so much but to afraid and holding back. He had been hurt before and aside from the somewhat strange, diarrhea of the mouth moment he had the previous night, he never spoke of his past. And there in lay the problem, the young officer wanted to trust the people that could be his family, but they were strangers. Strangers who he didn't want to know the shadows and dark corners of his life where he hid his memories, and the people who he had called family. Jamie shook his head and tried to focus on the moment, on finding out whether he had a real family, a birth family, something he had been searching for endlessly since he had learned he was adopted. He had only been 12 then, but he could still search, although then it consisted of nothing more then questioning his mother whenever he could get her to actually talk to him. A small sigh escaped his lips, bringing the two other pairs of eyes in the room to rest on him.

Danny wondered what the young man was thinking, it must be such a shock to the kid. One day he was starting a new job, the next day he might have a new family. Danny himself was a bit overwhelmed so the it wouldn't be a surprise if the younger man was as well. Danny opened his mouth to break the tense silence when the technician entered the room. All three men turned to the middle aged technician who froze a moment under the stares. The now, slightly frightened tech shakily handed the results off to Frank before fleeing the room.

Frank looked at the large envelope in his hands a moment before gently opening the pouch and removing its' contents. Danny moved to peer at the papers over his father's shoulder, both silently reading. To Jamie, it seemed their eyes reach the important part at the same moment and froze in a look of wonder, eyes so wide it was almost comical. Danny glanced up at Jamie before his eyes returned to the paper, Frank copied the action a moment after.

Jamie was nervous, "What does it say?"

Danny smiled, moving around his father to stand in front of Jamie, "It says you have 23 alleles in common with my dad. That means we're brothers!" Danny smiled widely and brought Jamie into a tight hug, not noticing or ignoring the younger mans stiffening at the action.

Jamie weakly returned the hug before extricating himself and walking over to Frank, who handed him the report. And there it was, in black and white, he was a Reagan. Jamie almost couldn't believe it, he had a family, and one he could be proud of. Jamie's eyes turned to Frank, desperately seeking the man's approval.

Frank looked down at the man who was his son, his long lost son, and smiled, "Thank you." Frank brought Jamie into a hug, the younger man making a conscious effort to relax and return it.

Jamie shook his head as they released each other, "It should be me thanking you. You found me, and gave me a family."

Frank smiled, "You were the one that agreed to this craziness, so I believe we both have each other to thank."

Danny paused a moment, grimacing dramatically, "Family, great, just remembered we have to face Mom and explain why we missed church today."

Frank laughed, "Your mother will understand, or at least be too surprised at Sunday dinner tonight by Jamie to remember to read us the riot act."

Jamie looked shocked, "You mean I'm meeting them all today?"

Danny laughed, "In about an hour actually."

The statement seemed to worry Jamie more but Frank put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "It will be alright, we all would love to get to know you and Mary will adore you." Jamie smiled as the Reagans guided him out to the car.

~*~*~*~*~* BB *~*~*~*~*~

Erin looked out the window again from her spot in the kitchen, searching for a sign of her father or brother's car. Linda caught the action, "You seem worried about something. Don't worry, Danny and Frank will get here soon. That is, unless you know something about this mystery errand the rest of us don't" Erin shook her head, but her sister-in-law was smart, "You do know something don't you?"

Erin sighed, "Yes, but I can't tell you..." Erin trailed off as she saw two cars pull into the driveway. Linda turned to see what had captured Erin's attention and the two watched as Danny and Frank exited the cars, a young man right behind them. Erin gasped when she saw the third man and ran to the door leaving Linda wondering who in the world the man could be. Erin's race through the house didn't go unnoticed and a stream of people followed her as she ran outside. Erin looked at her father and brother a moment, they both nodded in affirmation of her unasked question and she ran and hugged her little brother.

Jamie looked worried as the young woman ran to him and embraced him. Danny chuckled slightly, "It's ok kid, that's Erin." Jamie relaxed a bit, that is, until he noticed the confused audience watching the encounter. Erin let go of Jamie just as Mary made her way through the small crowd.

The older woman froze as she saw Jamie, and Jamie's eyes widened in recognition, he knew this woman. He didn't know how, but he knew she was his mother. Mary seemed to know as well, taking a few halting steps forward, "Jamie?" The question was no more than a whisper but everyone heard it.

Henry, Joe and Linda looked shocked as Frank spoke, "Yes, Mary, it's him."

Mary ran and brought her son into her arms, Jamie returning the hug just as eagerly. Mary held him tightly, "Oh Jamie!"

Jamie smiled as he tucked his head into his mother's shoulder and softly whispered, "Mom."

Mary smiled wider as the tears fell down her face. Mary let her son go as she took a step back to look at him before motioning for the rest of the family to come over, "Stop standing there and get over here and meet Jamie." Joe stepped forward, his eyes locked on the younger man as if he looked away, Jamie would disappear.

As Joe hugged his brother, Nikki turned her confuse gaze to her great-grandfather, "Who is Jamie?"

Henry looked at the young girl a moment before smiling and moving to take his turn hugging the young man, "He's your uncle." Nikki's eyes widened in surprise, as did those of her cousins, who turned to there mother for answers.

Linda looked down at her boys, "Before your father and I met, your grandparent had another son, Jamie. When he was a few years after his birth, Jamie was taken from his family. They couldn't find him and have looked for him ever since then. It seems they finally found him."

Sean looked at his mom, "How come we never knew that?"

Danny answered as the group grew closer to the door, "We were going to tell you when you were older and could understand better." The boys didn't seem sure of the answer but accepted it.

The conversation was interrupted as Jamie was led into the house, everyone getting pushed in along with him. Jamie was more at ease with Mary's guiding hand on his shoulder as he was surrounded by his new found family. Mary smiled as she sat him at the table, at the seat that was always left open, "We can finally have dinner with the entire family here." Jamie smiled as he looked at his family and prayed that no matter how too good to be true it seemed, that it really was more than just a dream.

~*~*~*~*~* BB *~*~*~*~*~

A/N- Wooo! sorry it took so long to update, I had to re-write the chapter cause my brother messed with my computer and deleted it. Anyways, hope you like it and don't worry, there is more to come. The next chapter will focus on the family and then i'll start bringing in the fun stuff, like Jamie!whump, who doesn't love Jamie!whump? There shall be angst and secrets and horrible kidnappers shall be revealed in due time. REVIEW!... that is all.


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie smiled awkwardly as he was ushered to the table. Mary, Erin, Linda and even the youngest girl, Nikki, he thinks her name is, are crowding around him, cooing and questioning and mother henning. Jamie looks over to Danny, who laughs at his overwhelmed and helpless expression. "Come on ladies, give the kid some room to breath." Jamie sighs in relief, it seems Danny wasn't going to leave him hanging after all. Danny smirks, "Hey, don't expect a rescue next time. You'll be on your own. I only did it this time because I'm hungry and we'll never eat if they don't stop questioning you so we can pray."

Jamie looks a bit hesitant, which Mary picks up on, "That's alright isn't it? Do you go to church?"

Jamie looked down at his folded hands in his lap, embarrassed and self-conscious, "Not in a long time ma'am"

Mary gives a nervous smile, "That's alright, you can come with us next week."

Jamie smiles, raising his head to look at his mother, "That sounds great ma'am."

Henry chuckles, "Ma'am..." He turns to Joe and Danny, "Now why aren't you two that polite?"

Joe laughs, "I'm not even sure if Danny and polite belong in the same sentence."

Danny mock glares at his brother, "Ha ha, very funny. Seems a bit kettle and pot to me, now which one are you?"

Jamie laughs slightly at the brotherly banter before Frank's voice sounds above the din, "Everyone, let's pray and start dinner before we all die of hunger." Mary lightly hits Frank on the arm, giving him a look that screams of reprimand and only a mother could pull off. Frank shrugs sheepishly as heads are bowed but doesn't take his eyes off Jamie as he speaks, "Thank you for this meal we can have as a family. Thank you for returning our son to us, our brother, uncle and grandson. We thank you for that blessing and all others. Amen." The last word was echoed around the table, then everyone set about filling their plates.

Sean looked around nervously, "So Uncle Jamie, are you a cop too?"

Jamie looks up, a bit surprised by the sudden question, "Um, yeah, I am actually."

Sean's eyes widen, "Wow! That's cool, did you always want to be a cop?"

Jamie looked over to Danny a moment, "No, actually. I wanted to be a lawyer, even graduated from Harvard Law."

Erin looked up, "You graduated from Harvard then became a cop? Why?"

Jamie looked down, speaking softly, "My fiancée was murdered, I felt I could do more good stopping crime then prosecuting it."

Danny shot him a sympathetic look as Erin blanched, "Oh, I'm sorry."

Jamie shook his head, still looking at his plate, "It's fine. That was over a year ago and going through the academy helped, gave me something to focus on." Jamie felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly and looked up to see Joe next to him, offering silent support. Jamie nodded to him in thanks as the room lulled into a momentary silence.

"What precinct are you working out of?" Jamie turned his head at the sound of Henry's voice.

Jamie smiled, silently thanking the man, "The 12th."

Henry smiled, "I know some of those guys, good cops. Who's your training officer?"

Jamie smiled wider, "Sargent Anthony Renzulli."

Joe looked surprised, "You're kidding, he was my TO!"

Jamie smiled, "Yeah he talks about you a lot. Said you were one of the best rookie's he's ever trained."

Danny laughed, "He couldn't have been talking about Joe then." Danny pointed at Joe with his thumb, "This guy trips over his own feet. Did it once while cuffing a suspect and almost knocked over a hotdog vendor."

Jamie laughed, "Well, he didn't mention that story."

It was Joe's turn to laugh, "He wouldn't, because when I tripped, I knocked into him and sent him into the hotdog cart. Needless to say, we didn't have hotdogs for lunch after that." The table laughed at the image.

Mary smiled, "So what are you career plans? I'm sure with the amount of student loan debt you have you don't plan on staying a patrol cop."

Jamie blushed, "Well, I would like to be a detective but I was hoping one day to have a shot at being Commissioner."

Henry laughed, "Another Reagan as Commissioner, they just can't get rid of us can they."

Frank smiled, "Those are some high goals. From what I've learned of you though, I'm sure you would make an excellent Commissioner."

Jamie smiled, "Thank you sir."

In the silence that followed, Nikki decided to ask the question on everyone's mind, "So, where have you been? I mean, they said you were kidnapped as a kid. What happened? Did you escape? Did somebody find you? Who raised you? Did you have a family?"

Erin glared at her daughter, hissing a warning, "Nikki."

The girl shrugged, "What? Everyone wants to know."

Jamie let out a breath, "It's alright, those kind of questions had to start sometime. To answer them, I have no idea what happened. I don't have any memory of being kidnapped and anything before when that would have happened is vague and incomplete. I pretty much raised myself, even though I was adopted."

Jack stopped eating, "So what were your parents like? My friend Sam a school was adopted and his parents are awesome. They bought him a new game system for Christmas last year."

Jamie looked down, fiddling with the food on his plate, "My parents weren't that cool. If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about them. Besides, you guys are my family, right?" Heads were nodded, but Jamie could see the looks that passed between the adults at the table and knew there would be a lot of questions about that later, when the kids were gone. Jamie smiled when Joe's hand made it's way back to his shoulder, a physical anchor to keep him out of the thoughts the question brought up. Jack opened his mouth to ask another question but a stern look from his mom changed his mind.

The rest of dinner followed in a similar fashion, questions and joking and heavy silences, Jamie was almost glad when it was over. almost, because now he had to face the Reagan men while the kids played and the women talked. Jamie felt the dread blanket him as they sat in the living room for a drink and knew he had reason to dread with the first question out of Frank Reagan's mouth.

"Would you tell us about the people who adopted you?"

~*~*~*~*~* BB *~*~*~*~*~

A/N- Bit of a cliffie, yeah I know, I hate me too. Hope you like the chapter, up next we see if Jamie takes the chance to confide in the Reagan's or if he pulls away or maybe a bit of both. Stay tuned to find out. I hope you read that last sentence in your announcer voice, I know I did.


End file.
